by Nancy Chen Long
(originally published in the 2011 issue of Weave Magazine)| 
puce.
  i know that | 
it’s
  a little like purple, or similar kind of | 
| 
color. a little boy once
  said | 
dream | 
| 
it
  to me | 
when we get older, | 
| 
—we were coloring— | 
our
  petals blanched | 
| 
in a field of bluebells | 
—our ancestors chanting in our memory | 
| 
under the beam of a
  chestnut tree: | 
we
  are all one, child. | 
| 
i, who had drawn a
  cart-wheeling girl, | 
preferring
  to be insular, | 
| 
i didn’t want to color her. | 
humans
  graft color with artifice and so | 
| 
i wanted her to be white. | 
what
  is real seems real if some other says it is. | 
| 
there
  is no white | 
washing our imperfections, | 
| 
silly, the boy said to me. | 
intellect
  may say we are vapor, while experience says | 
| 
but you are | 
to
  stay the course, even though nothing can be seen except | 
| 
white | 
flecks
  against a foreboding sky. stay the course, | 
| 
i said | 
even
  if happiness should look like a point, even if | 
| 
looking at his timberwolf | 
skin
  betrays the truth. what can be said about the | 
| 
eyes and tumbleweed | 
dispersions
  of words, chaos and form—they
  are  | 
| 
shadows. he shook his head.
  no one is | 
ad
  infinitum— | 
| 
white. i am peach, and | 
our
  options being finite, then | 
| 
you are maize. to prove it, | 
let
  us broaden our palette— | 
| 
he raised the crayon to my
  skin | 
in
  order to honor the original— | 
| 
and the color disappeared against
  me. | 
yes,
  this is so like a dream. and so | 
| 
i gasped. he did not know | 
there
  is no cold, there is only distance from the sun. change | 
| 
the rules. let’s race, i
  said. i’ll race you to | 
the
  boundary of | 
| 
the purple house. | 
what
  is considered home, | 
| 
he said, but | 
those
  many rooms in one mansion, spinning, | 
| 
racing | 
hurling
  through space. this picture | 
| 
makes no sense | 
—a
  single stone in a galaxy of stones— | 
| 
and besides, it’s not | 
the
  only thing that matters. the flash of | 
| 
purple, it’s puce. | 
form
  is flesh, the imprint of color. | 
| 
to prove it, he searched | 
through
  archives of memory, | 
| 
everyplace | 
where
  we once danced to some familiar chant | 
| 
trying to find it. | 
—still,
  it hums, ambient, steadfast. | 
 
 

